Pretty much the main reason I started this blog was to have a way to remember anything and everything I could about my little girl who changes every day. I said when I started that I wish I had began blogging a loooong time ago, but since I didn't I'm going to use today to back track a bit. One of the days that I want to remember all the details of is the day I had my sweet angel. And since I didn't have a blog to write about it then I'm going to do it now, two days before her 6 month birthday! (Beware its sort of long!)
April 9th was just like any other day with the exception of my 39 week check up that was scheduled for that afternoon. That morning Ryan directed traffic and then went to workout while I did some laundry and wrote out my grocery list so we could get groceries after our appointment. Before we left I stood in front of our fireplace for my weekly "bump" picture where Ryan then asked if I thought we should take our hospital bags with us. I told him to not worry about it because I wasn't having any contractions and I felt fine. Besides we only lived 20 minutes away so we would have plenty of time to go back home if we needed. Ha.
Big Ol Belly
At 2:00 I had my doctors appointment. After being checked Dr. Sims said I was 5cm dilated and 90% effaced. He then looked at us and said (yes I remember this part verbatim) "I don't see any reason to send you home today. If your water were to break I don't think you would make it to the hospital in time." Uhmmmm, come again? Hospital now? Baby today? Totally should have brought our bags. Smh. As we got ready to leave Dr. Sims office he said he would call over to the hospital and let them know we were coming, because they were busy that morning so hopefully they could get me in. Little did we know how really busy they were!
We walked out the door and just looked at each other like "Holy moly this is really happening." So, first order of business; call the moms! I told my mom to not rush because I wasn't even in active labor, but I heard through the grapevine that she was a crazy lady. And Ryan's mom already had her bags packed and in her trunk with the route to the hospital in her GPS a month in advance! Smart woman. We headed over to the hospital and once we got there the man at the front desk looked as if we couldn't have come at a worse time. He told us that there were no rooms and not even any beds available so because I wasn't having contractions I would have to wait...in the waiting room. Well I guess that's what it's there for! Unfortunately there wasn't even room in the waiting room either! The nurse had to kick somebody out of a recliner so I could sit down, and Ryan had to stand beside me lol. That's when we decided that he should run home and get our bags, take care of Maggie, and do all the last minute things we thought we would've been able to do that afternoon. After about an hour Ryan finally made it back, but I was still in the waiting room. We texted everyone and told them to to slow their roll because I wasn't even in a bed yet. We just kept joking to ourselves that there was no room in the inn :)
My sweet daddy showed up first because he was already in Fort Worth on business. Then came our friends the Sellari's who were also in the area. Everyone else trickled in soon after. Somewhere between 5:00-6:00 a nurse finally came and got me. Unfortunately they still didn't have any rooms open, but they were going to put me in a bed where the post c-section mommies were. At least we had some privacy with our little curtain, but I could only have a few people back at a time. The nurses got me all hooked up to start monitoring me and the baby. With the big band around my big belly I was able to see my contractions on the computer screen, but I still wasn't feeling anything. I had planned all along to go as long as possible without having an epidural, and after seeing some
big "contractions" on the screen I was pretty confident that I could totally do this! I was feeling tiny little discomforts here and there and when the screen showed a "big" one, it made me wonder what all these women had been complaining about. Oh how naive I was. My doctor came in that evening to check for any progress and then gave us a game plan; If real contractions didn't start on their own we would begin pitocin at 4am. Deal.
Waiting behind our curtain
Finally around 10pm we got a room!!! Just in time for the Rangers game to be over :( Oh well at least they won! By this time most everyone had taken off to get some rest since we obviously weren't going to have a baby any time soon. Ryan and I settled in to our comfy hospital beds and tried to get some rest. He of course went straight to sleep but there was no way I was going to be able to calm my mind down enough to sleep. Not to mention that every time I moved the big belly band would lose the baby's heartbeat and the nurse would have to come in and re-situate the whole thing. Most uncomfortable night of my life.
With Lauren, finally in a room!
Eventually 4am rolled around and it was time to start the pitocin. I was pretty nervous about this because all I had heard was that once it gets to working, my contractions were going to really kick in. They started the pitocin around 4:15 and came back every 30 minutes to up the dosage. Oh joy. But to my surprise I still didn't feel a thing. Every hour I kept waiting for it to get worse and nothing happened. After 3 hours of nothing Dr. Sims decided to just break my water.
All of our family had come back to the hospital but decide to go get some breakfast since I wasn't really making any progress. All except for sweet little Ali who decided to hang out with me because she was going to have to leave for work. (Yes, Ali came the night before, drove 30 minutes home to sleep, woke up and came back to see me before she had to go to work- now that's a real friend!) Anyways, at 7:15 they kick her out for a minute to break my water. And that's when I had my first real contraction. I immediately realized this was not going to be as easy as I had thought. Ali came back in and was shootin' the breeze with Ryan, while he played on the computer and while I tried to keep my mind off the sharp knives that had started slicing down my back and across my stomach. After about 5 minutes of contractions extreme nausea set in, and it set in quickly. Luckily the nurse was still in the room to get me a bag, otherwise we would've had a different mess to clean up. As I sat in bed throwing up my contractions were getting worse and worse and I soon realized that I was going to want that epidural. These contractions were no joke. Fun time was over. This hurt! I tried to keep talking to Ali in between dry heaving and saying "ow, ow, ow" but I don't think I was providing the best conversation.
"Waiting we are. We are waiting."
About 15 minutes later the anesthesiologist was sent down from heaven with what was sure to be the best medicine I've ever had! He started telling me his name and what the process would be and what the scientific name of the medicines were and what plant they come from in Indonesia, and all I could think was "I don't care if you have to stab me in the eye with this needle, let's just get it going!!!" He told me to sit up on the bed leaning my legs over the side and hunch my back a little. The second I did I had a contraction, but not like the other contractions, like I need to push kind of contraction. I felt like if I didn't push I was going to explode. And then I could feel that I was sitting on my baby's head!!
All I remember saying was " I have to push, I'm on her head!?!" The nurse took a quick peek and then confirmed what I already knew, "yep you're about to have a baby!" She immediately threw it into high gear telling the anesthetist to get out, had the observing student nurse (yes there was an extra set of eyes in the room just to observe my "misery") move tables into place and get out tools :/, and then she leaned over me to press the emergency call button from my bed and frantically told the front desk to page Dr. Sims and "get him here now!" Everything was happening so quickly all around me. Then it suddenly dawned on me, I didn't get my epidural! I have to do this the hard way. This is going to be bad. And it was. While I was pregnant I watched plenty of episodes of A Baby Story and Baby's First Day, and each time I saw one of those women moaning and groaning and crying out in pain I always thought to myself "oh be quiet it can't be that bad." But it really is that bad. And then I became one of those women that screamed. Sooooo embarrassing. But it hurt so bad that I couldn't even manage to cry. I can remember thinking I should have tears right now but nothing was coming out! Then I looked up and Ryan was crying for me. I could tell in his eyes that he didn't like seeing me hurting. Bless his little heart.
Neither of us can remember how many pushes it took to get her out, but I do know that I asked if she was out after every single push, lol. And then I heard the sweetest cry of my life and I saw her. Absolutely THE most gorgeous little face I had ever seen. Perfect in every single way. No more screaming. All I could say was thank you Jesus! At 7:57am (a mere 42 minutes after my first contraction) I had my 6 lbs 14 oz, 19 1/2 inch long beautiful girl. She looked exactly the way I had pictured her in my head. Yes even with all that black hair! Perfect. Just perfect.
And now I sit here rocking my 14 lb., 23 inch, almost 6 month old beautiful girl to sleep. Where has the time gone? I have cherished every single breath this sweet angel has taken and fallen even more in love with her with each passing day. Watching her grow and learn every day has been the most rewarding experience of my life, but it also makes me so sad that I will never get these days again. One day she will be too big for me to carry on my hip, too big to pick up when she cries, and too big to rock to sleep. So I'm going to do it all for as long as I can and pray the time doesn't slip away from me too quickly.
God is so good.
